“Oh I’d love to catch up, but I know you’re busy”
“Mel, you are so busy – you do too much.”
And today’s “Hi Mel, I know you are busy, but I have another busy thing for you to think about.”
I don’t think calling someone busy is a common way to offend, but it strikes a chord with me because it involves a judgement. In one’s assumption that I am busy, or too busy, they are assuming I am not interested in them or that I don’t have time for them. More than that, I think I interpret them as questioning my priorities and my ability to balance them.
The reality is I’m not busy and I’m definitely not too busy.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when I have been stressed because I had a lot on my plate. I remember to a time about three years ago when I was studying full time, worked two part-time jobs (saving for exchange to America), lead Sunday school at church and helped out an afternoon kids program and lead a bible study group at university. I also managed to attend evening church, two bible studies and play netball one afternoon a week. Every day for five months I just moved from one thing to the next, familiarising myself with the quiet hours of the morning to complete essays. That was a time when I was too busy. Friends told me I dropped off the face of the earth. And I see now I did.
But now, post-study and working full-time, I question Rowan Kemp‘s statements that “At uni, you have all the time in the world. You will never have as much time as you do now.” He said it many times during my four years at the University of Sydney, but I’m just not feeling it. I don’t have assignments to do when I get home, I’m no longer leading in energy intensive roles for the Sydney University Evangelical Union and I don’t move from one thing to the next. Days now are very routine. I wake at 6, leave at 7. Start work at 8.30. Take lunch at 1. Leave at 4.30. Arrive home and eat at 6. Go to sleep at 10. I limit myself to two, max three evenings out midweek and must must must be in bed by 10.30pm so I can function and be a good worker the following day. What is unaccounted for is two hours commuting and two or three hours each evening, a total of five hours per day midweek and then weekends. I’ve got more time now than I’ve ever had before!
Today, I told someone today not to think of me as busy, but engaged, active and/or energetic. Unfortunately I did turn down the request for my assistance because I’ve just taken on a new project that will stop me from doing today’s request well.
Working full-time means making decisions about how to spend your time, what and who you invest in. I’m still working it out. But while I do, please don’t think I’m too busy. The nights where I sit at home drinking a glass of wine, reading a book or catching up on the latest episode of the latest tv series are no longer few and far between.
I love people. I love to chat with people. I love to do things for people. I love to bake for people. I love to organise people. Please don’t think I’m too busy for you.