On this joyful day of love, I thought it fitting to write a little ode to a recent love (read:foe) of mine. I must warn you though, it’s pretty steamy so you may need to follow my lead with a cold shower.

I hate the way you smother me,
and the way you ruin my hair.

I hate the way you melt my face,
I hate it that you fog my eyewear.

I hate you’re costly to escape,
And the way you ruin my zZz.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me whine.

I hate the way you’re always there,
I hate it when you’re high.

I hate it when you make me ‘glow’,
even worse when you make me slime.

I hate it when you’re still around,
and the tease of rain is agony.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.

(Okay, that last bit was a total lie. I mean seriously even my drink is sweating…) Everyone warned me, even told me I’d need to buy new make up, which I have. Alas, there is no escape…until mid-March i’m told.

But to you and the one who blesses you with the affection I don’t have for my juvenile curls, I say Happy Valentine’s Day

And because it is so, here’s the sappy original featuring the one and only Heath Ledger:

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